I go for an endoscopy later this morning. They had better find something. Anything. I do not want to hear, “Everything looks just fine.” Everything is not “just fine!” It is not normal to start coughing in my sleep, which wakes me up, because the last cough was coupled with vomit. It is not normal to be sitting on the couch, watching TV or surfing reddit, start coughing and end up vomiting. Sometimes, when I’m sitting, the coughing starts with a tickle at the back of my throat. Sometimes it starts with that icky, dull burning sensation either just under my diaphragm or in the V shaped area between the sternal head. I also start to belch, a lot, and I cannot not belch.

I’m so tired of this! I’m tired of “sleeping” on the couch. I’m tired of getting only a few hours of sleep a night. I have to sleep while almost sitting up. I’m tired of the pain in my gut and in my chest and in my throat. I miss my appetite. I love eating. I love food (well, some food, I’m a picky eater). I barely eat these days (for at least the past month), but I don’t lose weight. I joke with Craig that I haven’t lost any weight all this time because I’ve got a big ass tumor in my gut that keeps me at the same weight. We used to joke about me being pregnant with evil triplets, but that was just too scary.

The prep for the endoscopy is no food or water after midnight. OK, that’s typical. My procedure is scheduled for 11:00. I had originally asked for the latest possible appointment, since I must have someone with me, so Craig would only need to take a half-day off work. Prep was the same. No food or water after midnight. I asked why, since the later procedure was five or six hours later, and for me, that’s a long time to go without food, and especially water (I drink water all day long). All the lady would say was, “No food or water after midnight. It doesn’t matter what time the procedure is.” I understand they don’t want me aspirating anything, but there is no way that a gulp of water that I take at 03:30 is going to be in my stomach at 11:00. Hell, it won’t even be in my stomach at 03:45.

To add to the fun, I’ve had a cold the past three weeks, so my throat is a little irritated from that, too. At least I’ll get some rest with the anesthesia.

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